How To Support Survivors of Suicide Loss: A Guide to Being There in the Aftermath
Every year in the US, about 1 million people are directly impacted by the suicide of someone close to them. These individuals become survivors of suicide loss, a term that refers to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. This sudden loss often leaves survivors in a state of shock, confusion, and deep-seated grief, as they grapple with a host of complex and overwhelming emotions.
Understanding the needs and struggles of these loss survivors is essential in providing them with appropriate support, both in the short and long term. In this article, we offer guidance on how to navigate this painful situation, providing comfort and companionship to suicide loss survivors.
The Emotional Aftermath of Suicide Loss
Suicide loss can thrust survivors into a state of immense grief, often compounded by feelings of guilt, anger, and shame. They may experience a unique type of mourning known as complicated grief, characterized by debilitating sorrow and difficulty in resuming their everyday lives.
Survivors may also grapple with the stigma associated with suicide, which can make the grieving process even more challenging. This can lead to isolation, as they may feel reluctant to discuss their loss due to societal judgments and misconceptions about suicide.
Because of these muddled and complex feelings, and the societal tendency to shy away from suicide, one of the most important things you can do to help a survivor of suicide loss is to listen. Listen actively, without judgment, criticism, or prejudice. Let them share on their own timing and with their own discretion. Remember to be patient and to take a back seat; do not impose your own ideas about grief. Their experience is personal and unique, and you are there to support them, not shepherd them.
Here are some ways you can support a suicide loss survivor, now and later.
Providing Short-Term Support to Suicide Loss Survivors
In the initial aftermath of a suicide, survivors need tangible, immediate support. Here are a few ways you can help:
Be present: Simply being there, offering a shoulder to cry on, or listening to them express their feelings can be enormously helpful. Avoid passing judgment or offering solutions. Instead, let them know you’re there for them no matter what.
Offer practical assistance: Helping with daily chores, meals, childcare, or even administrative tasks related to the death can alleviate some of their immediate stress.
Encourage professional help: Encourage survivors to seek support from mental health professionals or suicide loss support groups, who can provide therapies and/or support specifically tailored to handle the complexities of suicide grief.
Long-Term Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss
Providing long-term support is equally critical, as the grieving process is often extended, lasting months or years. Here’s how you can be there for survivors in the long run:
Maintain regular contact: Stay connected beyond the initial period of loss. Regularly check in, reminding them that they are not alone in their grief and that you are still there for them.
Acknowledge anniversaries and milestones: The deceased individual’s birthday, the anniversary of the death, or other significant dates can be particularly challenging. Reach out during these times.
Promote open communication: Continue to encourage open discussions about their feelings, and ensure they feel heard and validated.
Support self-care: Remind them of the importance of self-care. This can include ensuring they get adequate sleep and exercise, eat healthily, and take time for activities they enjoy.
Facilitate access to support groups: Encourage them to join support groups for survivors of suicide loss. These offer a safe space to share experiences and feel understood by others who have been through similar situations.
Say their name: Speak the person’s name out loud, at the level you, and their person is comfortable with. Too often speaking of someone we lost may be avoided due to concern it will upset their loved one. Share stories, remember them, and engage in ways that honor their memory.
Advocating for Suicide Loss Survivors
Supporting survivors of suicide loss is not just a personal obligation. It is also about advocating for societal and systemic changes to improve support for those grieving suicide loss. This can include promoting suicide awareness, fighting stigma associated with mental health concerns, and lobbying for better access to mental health services. Support suicide prevention, research, and advocacy by donating today!
Suicide loss is a deeply personal and devastating experience. It is essential that we, as a society, step up to provide the necessary support to those left behind. By offering a helping hand, a listening ear, and an understanding heart, we can make a difference in the lives of those affected by suicide loss.
The American Association of Suicidology is the world’s largest and nation’s oldest membership-based suicide prevention organization. Founded in 1968 by Edwin S. Shneidman, PhD, AAS promotes the research of suicide and its prevention, public awareness programs, public education and training for professionals and volunteers. The membership of AAS includes mental health and public health professionals, researchers, suicide prevention and crisis intervention centers, school districts, crisis center professionals, survivors of suicide loss, attempt survivors, and a variety of laypersons who have an interest in suicide prevention. Learn more about AAS at www.suicidology.org.
Responsible reporting on suicide, including stories of hope and resilience, can prevent more suicides and open the door for help for those in need. Visit the Media as Partners in Suicide Prevention: Suicide Reporting Recommendations for more details. For additional information, visit SuicideReportingToolkit.com and Stanford University’s Media and Mental Health Initiative. For crisis services anywhere in the world, please visit FindAHelpline.org and in the continental United States chat, text or call 988.Donate today to support AAS’ mission to promote the understanding and prevention of suicide and support those who have been affected by it.
MARIA MILITO TO HOST & EMILY WOLFE TO HEADLINE WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY BENEFIT TO SUPPORT THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SUICIDOLOGY
NEW YORK, NY (JUNE 22, 2023): On Sunday, September 10, 2023, the American Association of Suicidology (AAS) will present the 2023 World Suicide Prevention Day Benefit at The Bowery Electric (327 Bowery, New York, NY 10003) in New York City.
The much-anticipated event will be hosted by Maria Milito. A native New Yorker, Maria has been heard on the airwaves for more than 25 years and can currently be heard on classic rock station Q104.3.
Headlining the event will be Emily Wolfe, a triple-threat rock & roll singer-songwriter-guitarist from Austin, Texas. Emily is breathing new life into classic rock & roll with her incendiary guitar chops and original songwriting.
“The combination of this recognizing World Suicide Prevention Day with a legendary media personality and one of the most exciting live performers promises to be a night to remember,” said Leeann Sherman, MPS, CAE, President & CEO of the American Association of Suicidology. “This event will allow AAS to provide more resources and education across the country as well as reduce the stigma associated with suicide prevention and mental health.”
Other acts and special guests will be announced soon. Doors open at 7:00pm and this is a 21+ event. Advance tickets are $25 each ($35 at the door).
The American Association of Suicidology is the world’s largest and nation’s oldest membership-based suicide prevention organization. Founded in 1968 by Edwin S. Shneidman, PhD, AAS promotes the research of suicide and its prevention, public awareness programs, public education and training for professionals and volunteers. The membership of AAS includes mental health and public health professionals, researchers, suicide prevention and crisis intervention centers, school districts, crisis center professionals, survivors of suicide loss, attempt survivors, and a variety of laypersons who have an interest in suicide prevention. Learn more about AAS at www.suicidology.org.
Responsible reporting on suicide, including stories of hope and resilience, can prevent more suicides and open the door for help for those in need. Visit the Media as Partners in Suicide Prevention: Suicide Reporting Recommendations for more details. For additional information, visit SuicideReportingToolkit.com and Stanford University’s Media and Mental Health Initiative. For crisis services anywhere in the world, please visit FindAHelpline.org and in the continental United States chat, text or call 988.
MEDIA CONTACT
Chris Cosentino, Chief Marketing Officer, American Association of Suicidology, ccosentino@suicidology.org
Know the Signs: How To Tell if Someone Might Be Suicidal
When it comes to preventing suicide, knowledge is our most effective tool. By learning about suicidal ideation and the common warning signs of suicide, we can provide support to those who need it most.
What Is Suicidal Ideation?
According to the CDC there is an estimated 12.3 million adults in the US who have seriously thought about suicide (CDC, 2021). Suicidal ideation refers to thoughts, fantasies, or ideas related to ending one’s life. It ranges from fleeting thoughts to detailed plans. While not everyone who experiences suicidal ideation will attempt suicide, it is a risk factor and should always be taken seriously. The two most common categories of suicidal ideation are passive and active.
Passive Suicidal Ideation
This type of suicidal ideation involves thoughts about dying or a desire to die, without a specific plan for carrying out suicide. However, it is a clear sign that an individual is experiencing significant emotional distress and may be struggling with mental health concerns such as depression or anxiety. If left unaddressed, these underlying issues can escalate, turning passive ideation into active ideation over time.
Moreover, passive suicidal ideation can reduce a person’s overall wellbeing, making them less likely to take care of themselves or seek help. They might engage in risky behaviors, neglect their health, or put themselves in dangerous situations indirectly leading to non-suicidal self injury or death.
Active Suicidal Ideation
Active suicidal ideation involves not only thoughts or desires about death, but also planning or intention to end one’s life. This form of ideation represents a higher level of risk because the individual has moved beyond thinking about death to planning or even preparing for it.
Individuals with active suicidal ideation may begin to act on these thoughts, making arrangements for their death, such as writing a will, giving away personal belongings, or acquiring means to end their life. These actions are cause for concern and you can watch out to determine whether someone is in a life-threatening crisis. Understanding suicidal ideation and being able to recognize these and other signs of suicide will help you be able to provide crucial help.
Signs of Suicide
Here are some of the most common suicide warning signs. Please note that these may vary among individuals, and that any significant behavioral change can be cause for concern. Signs of suicidality include:
Discussing death or suicide: Frequently talking about death, dying, or suicide can indicate suicidal thoughts. This warning sign can take many forms, and it is essential to pay attention to the context, frequency, and intensity of these conversations. Some ways this might manifest is through explicit statements, vague or indirect comments, exploring themes of death in art or writing, and discussing final arrangements.
Feelings of hopelessness: Feelings of hopelessness are a major warning sign of potential suicide risk. Such feelings can take many forms and are often associated with a sense of despair, futility, or a belief that things will never get better. When a person experiences chronic or acute feelings of hopelessness, they may perceive their problems as insurmountable, feel trapped in their emotional pain, or believe they’re a burden to others. These feelings can often overwhelm their ability to cope, leading them to view suicide as the only way to escape their emotional distress.
Changes in behavior: These changes might involve a person’s daily routines, social interactions, habits, or overall demeanor. Because everyone’s behavior can vary over time, it is crucial to look for significant changes that seem out of character or that persist over time. Dramatic mood swings, changes in sleeping patterns, or social withdrawal may indicate potential risks. Even what seems like a sudden improvement may be a danger sign, as some people planning to commit suicide may appear happier or more at peace in the days or weeks before an attempt.
Self-isolation: When a person starts withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they once loved, it may be in need of support and safety. Self-isolation can also lead to increased feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and despair, all of which can contribute to suicidal ideation. Moreover, by withdrawing from their social connections, the person may feel further detached and believe that their absence will not impact others, reinforcing suicidal thoughts.
Making plans: If someone begins giving away personal belongings or making arrangements for when they are gone, this can signal active suicidal ideation. Other actions might include researching suicide methods, acquiring means to die by suicide, or scouting locations.
These expressions are cries for help, and it is essential that they are taken seriously. If someone you know starts displaying these signs, it is important to approach them with empathy, ask about their feelings regarding suicide, and encourage them to speak with a mental health professional. Never dismiss these signs as mere attention-seeking or exaggeration. Passive or active suicide can be an isolating experience to be taken seriously. By approaching suicide with empathy, care, and concern you are showing them that you are trustworthy and a part of their support system.
The American Association of Suicidology is the world’s largest and nation’s oldest membership-based suicide prevention organization. Founded in 1968 by Edwin S. Shneidman, PhD, AAS promotes the research of suicide and its prevention, public awareness programs, public education and training for professionals and volunteers. The membership of AAS includes mental health and public health professionals, researchers, suicide prevention and crisis intervention centers, school districts, crisis center professionals, survivors of suicide loss, attempt survivors, and a variety of laypersons who have an interest in suicide prevention. Learn more about AAS at www.suicidology.org.
Responsible reporting on suicide, including stories of hope and resilience, can prevent more suicides and open the door for help for those in need. Visit the Media as Partners in Suicide Prevention: Suicide Reporting Recommendations for more details. For additional information, visit SuicideReportingToolkit.com and Stanford University’s Media and Mental Health Initiative. For crisis services anywhere in the world, please visit FindAHelpline.org and in the continental United States chat, text or call 988.
Donate today to support AAS’ mission to promote the understanding and prevention of suicide and support those who have been affected by it.
